by Dark Is Beautiful | Jul 31, 2013 | Blog, Dark is Beautiful
By Pamposh Dhar | Dark is Beautiful campaigner
We are bombarded by print ads and TV commercials all day long. So much so that we hardly pay heed to them any more. But when “King Khan” himself shows up on the TV screen in our home, we sit up and take notice. He is India’s most popular star, the heart-throb of millions. In TV interviews, and even in most of his films, he comes across as a down-to-earth, sensitive man. We love him for that.
But now, with the Fair and Handsome commercial he is making some of us very uncomfortable. A few friends find my views objectionable. Mostly this seems to stem from the feeling that SRK is a superstar, someone we adore, and therefore someone we cannot possibly find fault with or give advice to. Our love for SRK inhibits us from criticizing him, but let’s face it – the Fair and Handsome commercial sends a clear message that to be handsome or successful you must be fair.
He is a superstar, true. But we are the people who have made him a superstar and we are the people who keep him at the top. We are the consumers of his films. Of course, we do that because of his considerable talents and the hard work he puts into his films. But we are the ones who decide if we like what we see and hear.
So, when he acts – with his usual elan – in a commercial that enhances a mindset that makes little children feel unloved and young men feel inadequate, then we can tell him that we do not like what he is doing. We can ask him to stop lending his megastar status to keep alive an essentially racist attitude. We can tell him we do not love his doing this, even if we still love him in his films.
We do not want him to waste our love, the fan following that keeps him at the top, on strengthening an attitude that is clearly wrong and does so much damage to the self-esteem of men and women. Worse, it is part of the mindset that makes us cruel to little children, making them feel unloved and insecure. (You can find some heart-rending stories in this blog and on the campaigns Facebook.)
I’d like to invite you to join me and the thousands of people who have already signed a petition asking Fair & Handsome and Shah Rukh Khan to take down this commercial. Let’s tell our hero to practice what he recently preached on his own Facebook page. I quote a post from 22 July: “You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be you, not to be what someone else wants you to be”…Gurumantra i was taught
Quite right, SRK! We are here to be ourselves, and we are perfect just the way the Maker made us. Please don’t try to improve on His handiwork!
Click here to say YES to responsible advertising
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pamposh Dhar is a counsellor, personal development coach, meditation teacher and energy healer based in Singapore. A former journalist, she is also a consultant writer and editor. She has previously worked as a gender specialist and trainer, and gender issues remain close to her heart. Pamposh is a fair Kashmiri in a long-lasting and extremely happy marriage with a dark Tamilian.
by Dark Is Beautiful | Jul 28, 2013 | Blog, Dark is Beautiful
A chat with David Livingstone
Sales pitches for fairness products suggest that a man needs to lighten up to get the job, to get the girl, to get more out of life. Twenty-nine year-old David Livingstone says that’s “hideous,” and in this interview with Dark is Beautiful, he offers his own take on what it means to be fair.
DisB: Have you ever tried fairness products?
David: I have never tried them or wanted to try them. I always felt fairness creams make you look unnaturally a shade whiter. I have seen it on other people and have not liked it. They look like they are painted white. I just use cologne and shave cream. That’s it.
DisB: What do you think about ads that promote fairness creams?
David: I find the whole concept of people wanting to be fair and the cosmetic industry promoting that idea quite hideous. Advertisements promoting fair skin always bothered me. I kept asking myself, “Why do they do this? What’s wrong with them?” Thankfully, I never thought that something was wrong with me
DisB: Have you been passed up for opportunities in jobs, marriage/dating (or anything), because of skin colour?
David: I am not aware even if I was.
DisB: Tell us about your childhood; how did you feel about your skin colour growing up?
David: My siblings are coloured lighter than I am. My parents never mentioned anything about my colour or made me feel less than my siblings. In fact, they helped me accept myself the way I am.
In school, we all had nicknames. In my case, being nicknamed because of my colour was part of it. I had other nicknames, too. I just took it in stride. I didn’t let it affect me in any deep way.
Over the years I have learned to accept myself the way God made me— in His image. I have confidence in who I am, just the way I am. I don’t feel the need to change my skin colour.
DisB: You travel a lot for your job. Is there a difference in how people treat you in North India vs. South India?
David: Yes, definitely. In the North, some people try and stay away from you and make you feel different because you are dark. They may call you “Madrasi” if they think you come from Chennai/Tamil Nadu.
But I don’t care. I reach out to them and let them see me for who I am. I am not so bothered by how they treat me, but rather by how they perceive another human being based on their skin colour. I used to think, “They know no better.” I felt sad for them.
DisB: What are your observations about the proportions of fair and dark skin in India?
David: If I walked into a room full of people here in India, definitely the ones who are fair-skinned would catch my attention. But only initially. It is probably because the others are darker and the ones with fair skin stand out. Eventually I’d look beyond that. If I walked into a room filled with fair-skinned people, the ones that are dark would catch my attention. Why make such a big deal about colour?
DisB: Any final comments?
David: Stop worrying about skin colour. Beauty is about character. To me, the word “fair” isn’t about skin tones; it’s about who you are and what you do.
That’s why I think the Fair and Handsome ad is unfair, and I support the petition to take it down. Why demean people who are dark? We need more responsible advertising.
Click here to say NO to unfair advertising and YES to take down the Fair and Handsome advertisement
by Dark Is Beautiful | Jun 5, 2013 | Blog, Dark is Beautiful
By Mary Smrutha Paul | An UNfair & Beautiful contributor
I’ve endured a lot when I was younger and in school. While studying in an International school, I was made fun by my classmates. I’m skinny and dark, and adopted. I used to be laughed at all the time. The boys used to say that I looked like a Somalian refugee. I understand they were pre-teens and were just bullying girls, but that affected me a lot.
Even at home, growing up my Mom used to tell me that when I was adopted as a baby, I was really tiny and black as a crow. And there’s proof to this statement as the same line was written in her biography book, Pioneering on the Pinda.
But as I grew older, I’ve learnt to accept my skin. Even now there are times where people mistake me for an African. But I just take it as a compliment because I think Africans are the most beautiful race.
Here are some images from a photoshoot in my Instagram account to promote awareness on dark-skin. I wanted to show something more bold – hence the yellow lips!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Mary Smrutha Paul is a photographer from Hyderabad and also a freelancer in a lot of other creative fields.
by Dark Is Beautiful | Mar 17, 2013 | Blog, Dark is Beautiful
By Chandra Vadhana | An UNfair & Beautiful contributor
Right from childhood I developed a BIG inferiority complex because I was dark.
I had the privilege of being schooled at one of the best convent schools in my locality, despite being born in a middle class family. In fact, I was one of the darkest in my class and hence the most “un-preferred” for any on-stage events. And that made me shy away from getting on the stage, even when I was sure of my capabilities.
I used to cry and shout at my mother for giving birth to me dark. She was actually fairer and I used to be jealous of her beauty. But she was a woman of substance. She always motivated me and instilled great strength in me. Her belief in me made me realize that i can achieve anything in life and that my abilities are never connected with my skin colour.
She did two good things after my convent education: first she put me in an aided college, where there were girls I could relate to and shared my dark skin. Secondly, she forced me to join NCC and sent me to all the leadership camps, which helped bring out my capabilities as a speaker, communicator and as a motivated leader.
The first NCC camp was rough, but I kept with it and went on to become the best cadet in Kerala, got selected for the Republic Day parade, went on a youth exchange program and won many medals. My NCC training also helped build my confidence.
I went on to do my MBA from CUSAT. I also did my M.Sc. in Psychology and I am currently pursuing my Ph.D. in Psychometrics.
I love my job as an RJ and voice artist, where I get to use my talent to communicate with the community. In spite of my many accomplishments and awards, I do feel sad that I don’t get on-stage work as an anchor due to the colour of my skin.
I went on to marry a man who is fair and handsome, who loves me and my kids more than anything else and skin colour is never an issue in our home.
I can say I’m a successful and accomplished dark skinned woman! I have overcome my inferiority complex of dark skin and in the past many years, I have motivated a lot of youngsters by taking personality development classes.
Finally, I believe that the concept of inferiority complex is a pure business strategy for a billion dollar industry that’s thriving because of the fairness creams. I believe this stigma can be wiped away only when more and more dark skinned women are in media’s limelight!
And, yes, lets Throw Out That Tubeof fairness products right out the windows!
The Chandra Vadhana Story is the first of the Surviving Discrimination posts. If you have overcome skin colour bias and would like to share your story to inspire change among young men and women, drop us a line at darkisbeautiful@gmail.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chandra Vadhana is a Voice artist, Radio Jockey and a Trainer based at Cochin. She is also a blogger and publishes at www.ceeveescorner.blogspot.com or http://www.facebook.com/pages/RJ-Chandra/425925877501447
by Dark Is Beautiful | Jan 6, 2013 | Blog, Dark is Beautiful
By Kavita Emmanuel | Founder Director, WOW
Each year on Independence Day I get to recite our National Pledge: ‘India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters. I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage. I shall always strive to be worthy of it…”
Are we really proud of our varied heritage? Do we accept each other as fellow citizens on the same level barring differences over caste, creed, and particularly, colour? Is skin colour bias an issue in our country?
The answer is obviously ‘yes’! And I would not be completely wrong to assume that skin colour bias is more pronounced among the educated and the most forward sections of society.
I often wonder where we inherited such blatant ‘wanted: fair brides’ sort of racism. It is estimated that more than 50 percent of the Indian people have darker skin tones. That the Dravidians are dark skinned people is an obvious fact. How they got to buy into the notion that “fair alone” is beautiful is unsolvable. Why haven’t we opened our eyes to see beauty that is evident in our own people?
Many trivialize the issue saying that in a country that is battling graver issues like poverty, terrorism, crime and abuse, an issue like skin colour bias is of no importance. But why should we wait till we eradicate these graver issues to address an issue that exposes our primitive prejudices? I often wonder if the issue of skin colour is deeper that what we think it is.
As a mature society, 65 years into “Free” India, we should have moved on to much greater heights of showing the world how people from such varied cultures and skin colours can actually live together as one nation in harmony.
People often ask me what prompted me to initiate this campaign. If you take a look at those widely circulated fairness shade cards, I am an ‘inch’ above what people might call ‘dark’ (Yes, they have invented a measuring scale for skin tones!) I belong to the category of lighter brown-skinned people.
I have to admit I haven’t been the victim of any life-changing discrimination from my fairer counterparts. But I have often felt the pressure to preserve or save the colour of my skin from the sun so I don’t get darker. I still hear comments like, “You were a fair baby, but now you have become so dark. Have you been roaming in the sun?”
However, the reasons that propelled me to initiate the campaign were the real life stories of my friends and women I have counseled. I know girls who have been rejected by potential marriage partners, subtly denied jobs and abused by husbands and in-laws because of their skin colour. I have seen children face rude remarks and given nick-names for being dark skinned. I have felt like crying alongside a mom who couldn’t hold back her tears as she talked about how people differentiate between her two children and show preference for the fairer one.
One story that stands out is of a friend who was willing to marry a man in a wheel chair. She chose to see the person beyond the handicap he suffered. To her surprise his family rejected her because, as they say, “she lacked colour.” I know girls who carry the scars of rejection for years and find it difficult to believe that they are of value.
I was not born a Dark is Beautiful campaigner. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the Change that you want to see.” Any change that I want to see has to begin with me. Campaigns bring awareness. Campaigns are not to judge people. I chose to become a campaigner against skin colour bias because I want to create a world free of skin colour bias for our children.
The Dark is Beautiful campaign is an awareness initiative that is trying to wake people up to the reality of beauty in all skin tones. John Keats said, “A thing of beauty is a joy forever.” For us today, a thing of beauty is work forever! It’s the ‘get fairer’, ‘get slimmer’, ‘get younger’ kind of syndrome that is driving people crazy – leaving them feeling tired, unloved and unlovely.
What makes a person truly beautiful is more than just what is seen on the outside. We need to let values like kindness, acceptance, helpfulness, tolerance, integrity and honesty regain their rightful status in our world.
Let’s together pave the way for a new wave of Independence that helps people truly celebrate who they are no matter what their skin colour!
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| Be Colour Blind & End Prejudice |
This article first appeared in theweekendleader.com: http://www.theweekendleader.com/Causes/1318/It%E2%80%99s-not-fair.html
For more pictures visit http://zipporaphotography.blogspot.in/2012/09/beauty-beyond-colour.html
