I am a mother of two children – a boy, 8, and a girl,6. I absolutely love being a mother and I embrace that role whole heartedly. My hope, and my dream for them is that they would grow up to be a man and woman with integrity, values and a sense of responsibility. At the same time, I also fear the world my children are facing and will face by themselves one day. So the question that drives me constantly is – am I equipping and preparing them well to make the right choices in life? Parenting has become even more challenging as we sometimes feel like we’re competing with so many other influences in our children’s lives.
The role of being a mother comes with great responsibilities and fantastic benefits. It’s one of the unique roles of women where we get to mould the life of our children preparing them for life. We as women have the privilege of nurturing our children to be agents of change and bring healing to a broken world especially when we hear of brutal incidents involving women and girls.
[su_quote class=”post-quote”]It is a role that requires highest degree of patience, commitment and consistency.[/su_quote]
Even at a tender age of 6, my daughter already seems to have very specific ideas of standards of beauty simply by exposure to various media. She even prefers a lighter skin colour as a standard of beauty. As a mother, I see these expressions as a great opportunities for teaching. It is in moments like this that I realize the importance of being a mother – I have the opportunity to directly impact my child’s perspective and teach her values that can not only impact her own life but also build her up to be an agent of change.
There is a constant need for attention and intervention – be it caring for a child with cold and fever or sorting out sibling fights at the back seat while trying hard to negotiate traffic on the road, the unending “why” questions, continual demand for help right away and so on. You mothers know what I’m talking about! It is a demanding role that teaches us patience and perseverance. The good news is we are naturally equipped to handle the demands. Each of us are unique and our demands are unique too. Some of us need to manage a full-time job and home. We have different roles and responsibilities that we juggle everyday. How do we manage without compromising on our role as a mother?
Firstly, I think when we realise that we are entrusted with an important role, a sense of pride and responsibility sets in. Unfortunately we shy away from being identified as a mother and are comfortable with titles and identities that our careers give. With this change in perception, we can make our role more meaningful and rewarding.
Secondly, an important piece in enjoying motherhood is working together with our husbands. A positive atmosphere at home with active involvement of the father and the mother together is where the child finds comfort, safety and security, and where preparation for life and learning takes place. This partnership not only models a good example to my children, it also gives me added space to concentrate on other worthwhile pursuits. When the responsibilities of nurturing the children are done in partnership, it is possible to be a great mother and have a fulfilling career at the same time.
We would all agree that being a mother stretches our limits. There are many days that we feel weary and wonder if its all worth our time. In a world where everything is instant, we expect our children to produce instant results. After all we want instant assessment and instant approval of our role as a mother. Only time will show us the results of our investment. It is a role that requires highest degree of patience, commitment and consistency. The struggles are real and so are our emotions when we face difficult times as a mother. Mothers I interact with discuss many of their struggles parenting their children. Times like these can easily bring us down and feel defeated.
However, something that helps me greatly is having a positive support system. These can be a group of stay-at-home moms, working moms or other families who are in the same phase of life as us. This platform gives me time and space to share my struggles and also helps me to encourage other women in the same boat as me.
This mothers day, I would like to encourage women who are feeling less important or facing challenges in fulfilling different roles as women, to realise that we in partnership with our husbands and with each other, have a vital responsibility in making a world of difference to our children’s lives – to help them be the best that they can be. I realise this can be very challenging to many women due to various family circumstances. In such case I would like to recommend that we seek help from our support system or even organisations like Women of worth who exist to help women to rise up to their fullest potential.
Mother’s day is not complete without realising and recognising that there are women who are yet to become mothers or who are aunts, sisters, daughters, who still play a vital role in our children’s lives . Your role as a women is important to make this world a better place for us and generations to come.
Happy Mothers day. Let this mother’s day be a celebration of all mothers, women and girls especially those who are silently fighting battles on their own and who are the true heroes of motherhood.
[su_box title=”About the author” style=”soft” box_color=”#f3f3f3″ title_color=”#000000″ radius=”5″]Fenny Kanagaraj is Partnership Director at WOW and mother of two. She is a networker and bridge creator.[/su_box]